PART THREE: LOST THINGS
So here is the long awaited final installment of When It Rains It Pours - Lost Things.
All of the mishaps, shenanigans, and misbehavings I've described in these posts happened in the span of 2 weeks. No joke.
So I left you with a description of our "horrible Tuesday." This day will live in infamy around our house. I hope we never have another day like it. Ever. But now on with our Lost Things.
Lost Item #1:
The monkey underwear Harrison flushed down the toilet. Immediately after Harrison's ill-fated flush, husband hurried to get the toilet snake and tried, unsuccessfully, to fish them out of the pipe. The toilet didn't back up or have any trouble flushing so we hoped the underwear would just make their way down through the pipes and into the sewer with no lasting effects. I mean, he's little. His bottom is little. The underwear were little. It could happen, right? Wrong! By Friday morning, as husband was shaving, the toilet in our master bath started making a nice, glug, glug, glug, sound. I knew immediately this was not good. We had sewer issues about 18 months ago and had to replace part of the main line and the first sign of those problems then was the same, glugging noise I heard that Friday morning. At that point we basically stopped using water at our house, except for when absolutely necessary. We didn't do laundry, we didn't run the dishwasher, and we were exceedingly careful about what went down the toilet. The plan was that my husband and father in law would get the super long toilet snake my parents own (don't ask me why they have this handy contraption) and try again to see if they could retrieve the underwear. When we had the sewer line replaced last year, we had a clean out drain installed making it easier to deal with problems, hopefully. Husband and my father-in-law worked valiantly using the snake down both the clean out valve and down the pipe in our bathroom to no avail. No underwear could be found and the toilets were still glugging every time we ran the water. We survived the weekend using minimal amounts of water and the first call Monday morning was to Dale, the plumber who replaced our sewer line last year. While waiting for him to come, I loaded up the children and headed to my parents house to do laundry. We had done virtually no laundry since Harrison's ill-fated flush so you can imagine the mountain of dirty clothes we had. Thankfully Dale arrived Monday afternoon and saved the day. He wasn't able to retrieve the flushed underwear but he was able to dislodge them and send them on through the line to the sewer. No more glugging toilets.
Harrison has hopefully learned his lesson from all of this. Now every time he uses the bathroom we have this conversation
Harrison: "Mom, can I flush?"
Me: "What is in the toilet?"
Harrison: "Pee"
Me: "Anything else?"
Harrison: "No...just pee."
Me: "OK then you can flush."
Harrison: "OK Mom."
Lost Item #2
Harrison's glasses. These disappeared the day after the underwear were flushed. There was some concern that he had flushed them too, but I don't think so. He wasn't wearing his glasses when he flushed the underwear so I am 99% certain they weren't flushed with the underwear. Where they are though, I have no idea. I have asked him repeatedly where they are and have gotten a wide array of creative answers.
1. The wind blew them away.
2. I put them on the dirty skunk.
3. Outside with the baby turtle.
Since all three of these answers indicated he left them outside we have combed through our backyard. Literally. I have searched. Husband has searched. My in-laws have searched. We even got the rake and raked the grass in the backyard to make sure they weren't hidden somewhere. The baby turtle was found under the deck so both husband and I have searched under the deck numerous times with no luck.
Other answers to the question where are your glasses include
4. Up in the sky.
5. On the frog lamp.
6. Daddy took them away.
7. I put them on the roof.
8. I put them on Spiderman's back and Spiderman took them.
Oh the creativity!
I have been through every toy box in their room and the den, taken all of their clothes out of their dresser, cleaned out their closet, looked through, under, and behind, every couch, chair, and piece of furniture in their room and the den searching for those glasses. Husband and I are planning one more big push of searching this weekend before we go and buy him another pair. Cross your fingers that we find them. They have to be here somewhere. I know that the second we go buy another pair they will miraculously appear.
And now for the big one...
Lost Items #3 and #4
I lost the TWINS. I know. I am a horrible mother. I lost two of my children. Don't worry. I found them safe and sound but I was absolutely panicked for few minutes. Here is the brief story. The children were invited to a birthday part at a children's science museum here in town. The museum is two levels and the rooms where they have the parties are on the bottom level, actually downstairs from the entrance. As part of the party, employees of the museum brought different animals to the room and taught the children about them. They brought in lizards, hedgehogs, spiders, snakes, ferrets, and even a baby alligator. The kids thought it was awesome and even got to pet most of the animals. After the animals there was cake, ice cream, and presents. Then all the children were free to go play in the museum. I had left Ava at home with husband and his parents since the party was during her afternoon nap time so I only had to watch three instead of four children. We explored the lower level of the museum. By that point it was close to time to go and I told the children we should head upstairs and towards the exit. Of course none of them wanted to leave and they all three took off back down one hallway towards where all the animals were. Ella and Harrison stopped and were looking at the huge snake (boa constrictor or python or some such creature) while John David headed straight for a computer game that had you match sounds with the animals that make that sound. I stepped over to the computer to get John David. He had 2 more sounds to match before the game was over so I stood next to him while the twins were looking at the snake, or so I thought. I turned back around and they were gone. I panicked and John David and I took off looking for them. When my sister was a toddler she walked off with another little girl in the mall and my mother was in such a panic she couldn't remember what my sister was wearing. Remembering that, I kept repeating "Ella is wearing her heart dress. Harrison has on a bright green polo shirt." in my head so I would be able to describe them. As I, and the birthday boy's parents, are racing through the museum searching for the twins, a museum employee, actually one who had shown the animals to the kids at the party, came up to me and asked if I was Sarah. I said yes and he proceeding to tell me the twins were with him and were safe. They had done exactly what they were supposed to do when they looked up and couldn't find me. They found an employee and told them they couldn't find their mommy. They told him my name and they had been paging me over the loudspeaker. I never head the announcement because I was in such a panic.
Thankfully, they were both absolutely fine. Ella was very upset with me, and I don't blame her. She tearfully told me how she looked up and I wasn't there and she wanted to be with me. Awww! She later told me they went upstairs because that is where they thought I had gone. I guess they were listening when I said we should all go upstairs and look around. I'm truly thankful that Harrison didn't get lost without Ella there. He is a smart, sweet, loving little boy....but sometimes he is completely out to lunch. We have drilled all three of the older ones on what husband and I's names are, what their grandparents names are, where we live, where daddy works, etc. just in case something like this happened. I know Harrison knows my name, I just wonder if he would have thought to tell the museum employee he couldn't find me or actually answer when asked what my name was. For some reason neither of my boys are very good at actually answering questions. I definitely need to work on that.
As a result of losing the twins, I am now in the market for some sort of "leash." I cringe at the work too. They are children not animals...but the panic of losing two of my children was something I can't even describe. I'm not sure if you can even understand the panic and anguish of losing a child until you are a parent. Becoming a parent transforms you in so many ways, most of them unseen. I really want one of those ropes with the handholds you see in preschools where each child has a hand hold and there is a teacher at each end. I think it would be perfect for us. Each child could have a handhold and husband and I can be at either end. That way, hopefully, we never lose anyone again.
Everyone is safe, happy, and since all the drama I've recounted for you, pretty well behaved. We are all looking forward to pre-school starting after labor day. For the past two weeks, the children have asked me almost daily if they get to go to school today. So obviously they are ready. And mommy is definitely ready. I love having them home and I hate them growing up, but they really love school and I love to see them learning and having so much fun. It has been a long hot summer. Maybe them going back to school will bring us some cooler weather.
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